Posted 23 hours ago

We come into being as a slight thickening at the end of a long thread. Cells proliferate, become an excrescence, assume the shape of a man. The end of the thread now lies buried within, shielded, inviolate. Our task is to bear it forward, pass it on. We flourish for a moment, achieve a bit of singing and dancing, a few memories we could carve in stone, then we wither, twist out of shape. The end of the thread lies now in our children, extends back through us, unbroken, unfathomable into the past. Numberless thickenings have appeared on it, have flourished and have fallen away as we now fall away. Nothing remains but the germ-line. What changes to produce new structures as life evolves is not the momentary excrescence but the hereditary arrangements within the thread.

We are carriers of spirit. We know not how nor why nor where. On our shoulders, in our eyes, in anguished hands through unclear realm, into a future unknown, unknowable, in continual creation, we bear its full weight. Depends it on us utterly, yet we know it not. We inch it forward with each beat of heart, give to it the work of hand, of mind. We falter, pass it on to our children, lay out our bones, fall away, are lost, forgotten. Spirit passes on, enlarged, enriched, more strange, complex.

The Mind’s I: Fantasy and Reflections on Self and Soul
Posted 1 day ago

From May.

Posted 3 days ago

Camera, lipstick, hat—making me a sillier person than usual.

Posted 5 days ago

Public Enemy.

I went to an electronic music festival yesterday and saw Public Enemy perform.  I started off somewhere in the middle of the crowd and slowly inched my way three rows away from the stage (I’m small and I was alone, so this wasn’t impossible).  A kind and very tall stranger lifted me up for a minute so I’d be able to see above everyone’s head while I yelled and had my fist in the air (this was prior to my migrating closer to the stage where I had a better view).  I got splashed with water by Chuck D. and they did the song “Fight the Power” (one of my favorite Public Enemy songs) and I was singing all the words. 

I may never get another chance to see them perform and it was totally worth getting my feet stepped on, going alone because no one wanted to come with me, having a drunk creeper attempt to kiss and grope me (just because I’m cool with dancing with you and you tell me I’m beautiful does NOT give you the right to do what you want to me), having another stranger make suggestive comments about my consuming a cherry sucker (once again, called me beautiful), and having my dad threaten to disable my car so I couldn’t drive down to Detroit (one of many reasons why my father and I don’t get along). 

Also, I’m happy so I could care less about my liberal use of parenthetical statements today.  Though I do care that various parts of my body are sore because I spent the entire day running around Hart Plaza, dancing like a motherfucker (I didn’t know who any of the DJs were for the electronic music but if I find something to be danceable, I could care less) and I didn’t drink nearly as much water as I should have.

Posted 1 week ago

Never dull.

Nick gets into a “debate” about the existence of God with a Muslim who bought us shots at a hole in the wall bar.  I let my fellow atheist do the debating on behalf of scientific evidence (I also stayed out of it because I refuse to argue with anyone who buys me a drink), while I smoked a cigarette from Bosnia.

Posted 1 week ago

Wavelengths.

Last night, Storms shoots me a text while I’m at Hector’s dinner party asking me if I was “…on Mars” right when I’m having the thought in my head “I’m on fucking Mars.”  We express the exact same thoughts so often, it’s amazing. It is also something I can’t easily explain or understand as an individual who is more inclined to be analytical. Which is also the most likely factor in my difficulty to articulate my experience when my mind is altered because my thoughts come out in sensations and images.  It probably also explains the large number of high-fives we give each other.  Being on the same wavelength is probably one of the major contributing factors that allowed us to quickly transition from acquaintances to good friends. I am grateful for this.

Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago

IMPLACABLE: Entitlement

twohandedsaw:

I have seen what male entitlement looks like. I know the face it makes when it doesn’t get what it expects. I know the anger that comes along with the audacity reject it.

“Ooh, I want that one.”

I was sitting outside on a patio in the Cass Corridor sharing a cigarette with my partner and a…

Posted 1 week ago

Current.

Almost forty hours of work in four days.  I have started and ended each of them sitting cross-legged on a chair drinking tea.  A friend was right when she said that vanilla chai was soothing.  The warmth of the mug, the smell, the ritualistic behavior—these things comfort me.  I have an intense morning ahead of me tomorrow, having scored a second job interview last Thursday.  I either have this or I don’t.  Regardless, it is a much needed step that I need to take in my quest to move forward.  I’ve outgrown a lot of things in the past year and instead of bruising my knuckles against the walls in frustration, I’m working on making the necessary changes.